Thursday, April 14, 2005

My Story

How’s Your Credit?

These days your credit plays a very important roll in determining your ability to obtain financing, employment, housing, transportation, dental work, education, and numerous other things you do in life.

There are several factors that happen in life that can destroy your credit. Here are some of those factors:

Health - both self or family
Identity Thief

Any one or a combination of these factors can literally render you helpless and give you the inability to help yourself, your children, or your family. Not only does this have a great effect on you as a person; it also affects your whole family emotionally, mentally, and physically. I know… I had three of those factors hit me within a 5 month period and another within the year! That’s four within a year!

So??? this is a fact of life! Why are you telling me all this Randy?

Because of the effects it can have on you and your family. It devastated me and my family. It caused a windfall of events in which I had almost no control over; yet, it happened in short like this.

The divorce alone almost financially and emotionally devastated me and my family. Three weeks after the divorce was final, I got laid off from my job. A 75% reduction in income almost immediately!

I made attempts to reduce my child support. The child support was higher than my monthly unemployment check. I failed miserably to get it changed, and was denied by reason of wrong court procedure. Which was due to advice of my ex’s attorney, who requested that I wait a few months to see if I “land” employment; thus, I was requested to do a fiat to reduce the child support. I had no idea what the attorney was talking about, it was the day before the court hearing. I did as he requested…

That was one of the biggest mistakes I have ever done in my life. That mistake alone caused me over 6 eviction attempts from my apartment within a year, a judgment that was later dismissed, loss of two vehicles, defamation of character and called a “deadbeat dad”, loss of contact for over two years from one of my own children, an onslaught of belittlement and harassment based on exalted expectations and abuse of taking advantage of family laws, and an unfair arrearage that will take me years to pay.

On top of this, a teenager broadsided me in an intersection four months after the divorce, which resulted in knee surgery less than a year later, and I was disabled for a period of time. Meanwhile, I still had to look for job! Finally, after the unemployment ran out, I was able to get food stamps so I could feed my children when they were with me. I also did some handyman chores from friends, and received tremendous support from my family

I was expected to pay child support on income I didn’t earn anymore, pay health insurance I couldn’t get, give my children a place to sleep and feed them while they were with me, get a job you deadbeat! In an economy where IT work was almost nil. Hire an attorney that will charge $175 an hour with a $2500 retainer, make payments on two vehicles with full coverage insurance (one vehicle one of my teenagers drove), pickup and deliver my children…. Well, I could go on…

What’s my point here? My credit was devastated due to some factors listed above. I can handle that responsibility and I will recover and more; however, I was deceived and intentionally misdirected by an attorney (actually two, just didn’t go into that one), defamation of character, my rights as a parent and my children’s rights were violated, I couldn’t even file bankruptcy because I didn’t have a JOB! A relationship between a child and parent was dismantled, of which has taken years just to get it heading the right direction.

Thus, adding upon me an insurmountable amount of emotional and mental stress and abuse. Because my credit is so bad, I am unable to financially help my child in college, let alone the other younger children. We do what we can, tomorrow will bring another opportunity.

Yes... with the rights violations, bad economy, an accident, defamation, harassment, betrayal of professional abuse in the family law court system, even the way the family laws are written, they all produced a cascade of events that almost rendered me helpless to assist and support my children. Yet, I am the obligator and now an obligee to one of my children who came to live with me. Who doesn't receive child support due to arrearage I pay out on income I didn't earn. I do have a wonderful, loving and supportive wife now, a great number of friends, and a family who still loves me. By the way, I did “land” a contracting job with no benefits for about half of what I used to make, plus some great ideas for the future.

So, I am standing back up again… my credit does show the record that has cost me more than enough heartaches for a life time, and now it launches me forward to the forthcoming years of taking on the responsibility of recovery, and with a determination to unite a change for our childrens' sake.

So, how is your credit?


  • What can one say? What happened to you was beyond your control - deadbeat dad? How can that be - you loved and took care of your children from all accounts. You just couldn't give to them financially. For a man, that is devastating in itself. Then to be beaten down but others and the system - OMG!!!!

    Time will fix many of your issues however, many should never have occured - that is what we need to change.

    The unfairness of the system. Why is it that people equate a good parent with money (at least for men) you certainly don't hear it often going the other way. It's wrong. Every child needs both their father and mother to support them emotionally more than anything else.

    I'm glad you feel that you have a loving and supportive wife now - that always helps things look better even if they are still just as bad.

    Hang tight - change will come - maybe not as quick as we all want it but it will come - it has to for the sake of our families.

    By Blogger CapeCodGirl, at 8:38 AM, April 15, 2005  

  • It is hard to believe that in this day and age when there are SO MANY parents who simply walk from all responsibility of their children that for those who are making every effort to "do the right thing" that there is not some help available or at least slme "grace" for the financial end of things.
    I am sorry for your loss in All areas. But as the saying goes "that which does not destroy us, makes us stronger" Good luck as you make this journey!

    By Blogger Lor, at 5:03 PM, April 18, 2005  

  • Ceasar once said to his son, "If you don't like the opinions of this world, change your opinion".

    Yes, opinions can be changed, one opinion at a time, one person at a time. However, that opinion wont change until you change yours.

    I thought life was great and it still is... until something happens and turns your life upside down. Most of the time we are not prepared for them. Some of us never experience it... and I hope you don't.

    However, in America who would of thought your rights would be violated so much by the ones you love, and most of all by those who are sworn to protect and serve the people.

    Thank you all for your encouragement and support!

    By Blogger Randy, at 11:28 PM, April 19, 2005  

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